I have worked with several individuals that have been greatly affected by co-workers’ passive-aggressive behavior.
We are talking about the typical behavior of somebody that does not show his/her feelings but instead withholds them. They feel uncomfortable communicating and sharing their feelings and avoid any sort of communication about the issues that might have caused their reaction.
It is a behavior that fosters resentment towards one person or a group of people.
Low self-esteem and low self-concept are associated with this kind of behavior.
How does passive-aggressive behavior show?
-procrastination is at the top of the list
-silent treatment
-withholding important information
-undermining other’s authority fostering gossip and rumors
-using sarcasm to embarrass co-workers
-shut down any sort of conversation or discussion
-covering behind “everything fine” while “no-thing” is
-not taking any actions even when requested
-intentionally hiding anger and hostility while blaming others for wrongdoing.
-avoiding giving a straight answer and using a lot of ”Whatever”
-avoiding direct and personal communication and relying on emails or voice messages.
How passive-aggressive behavior impacts the workplace
This kind of behavior stems from low self-esteem, it harbors anger and hostility and gains a kind of personal power by pushing other’s people or co-workers’ buttons, or somehow hurting them in some way.
It can impact the morale of entire teams and change the organizational climate while creating a toxic environment.
How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior
It is extremely important to neutralize the effect of such behavior. But how?
The first thing is to recognize the dynamic, and remain professional and calm no matter what, even when the buttons are pushed; not an easy task but necessary. It is very important to identify and know what you are dealing with. Remember that reacting to provocation gives the rewardthey are looking for, and practice remaining composed. Reacting is rewarding!
Keep in mind your well-being and the fact that you deserve to be treated with respect. Minimize your exposure but if you have to work regularly with a person with such behavior try to monitor your words in the communication. When interacting directly, shift from “you”, your” to “we” and “when”, and de-personalize the conversation. It is important to master some assertivenessskills to enable you to defuse toxicity and gain some cooperation.
It is very important to set boundaries and stick with them. Shifting to more assertive behaviorsmight cause some apparent backlash but stick with it and after a few reactions, the response will normalize.
Always remember everybody has a story and their own perception of their story and experience.
Bringing hidden hostility to light is key
Make sure to build an open-door kind of communication environment, to show you genuinely care, and encourage and bolster two-way communication where vulnerability is allowed and appreciated. By doing so you create and develop a psychologically safe environment where dysfunction is limited, problem-solving thrives and synergy prospers.
