What I have learned about the value of vulnerability I have learned through my writing.
I finished writing my book at the end of 2014. Soon you will be able to view it.
It was a very hard decision, not writing itself, since I have been writing since I was a child and it has always been a cathartic activity for me, but rather sharing my most intimate thoughts, feeling, fears, and shame. It was hard to choose to write my first book, as it has also been hard to make the decision to write this blog. So, when I thought I was able to be vulnerable I understood I had some more road I needed to walk.
Over time I have been encouraged by friends, love ones, readers, by those wise individuals I have met in my life so far to open up more and share more about myself and my feelings.
Guess what? Fear was blocking me, preventing me to be more truthful and write up to what I felt it was my worthiness to someone’s eye. Yes, I could not share the most vulnerable parts of myself for fear of being judged and not being worth “enough”.
In this moment that many of you know, in this moment of tremendous suffering and pain for the illness of my husband, I understand that vulnerability is not a weakness and I cannot let the fear of it run the show.
Vulnerability connects us with the truth, vulnerability is courage and strength. It is what makes an uncomfortable and difficult conversation as an open hearted and whole communication. It is what connects us all and what connects us to life. Through vulnerability we can dig up the deepest buried fears we have inside and it is only through that which we can have true connection with others and with the most intimate part of ourselves. Being able to “feel” is the greatest gift to humanity.
We get to know ourselves and be comfortable with ourselves and others. Our creativity, our true potential will be uncovered, we will have courage to fail and courage to transform the embarrassment, shame or fear into the humility of learning through the biggest falls.
Having the courage to be vulnerable brings us together, allows us to share, erases, annuls our separateness. Courage is a virtue that is linked to the heart as it comes from the Latin word “Cor”: heart.
Very often you wonder how people “disappear” when you most need them and you know they do not mean to be heartless but they cover themselves behind the excuse of “what am I going to say” or “how am I going to help?” They do not find the courage to be vulnerable and share it with you, in fact the wall of separation is rising higher and higher between humans. Inability to be vulnerable is inability to be courageous.
What I am saying in my blog does not have the intent to teach, but to share and to share heart to heart what I have found on my path so far and hopefully connect with others and their wisdom.
Dr. Brené Brown said, “You cannot get through courage without walking through vulnerability.”
Being vulnerable is also to say to a friend in need, “I am sorry I cannot fix this for you, but I can walk this walk with you for some time” as seen in this short video of a conversation with Dr Brené Brown.
“Vulnerability is the unique virtue which awakes the connectedness with one another”
Antonella Lo Re